“President for Life.” I think that’s great!

“Stolen election” I WON, bigly.

(Nostrils flare, face reddens) no loser!

(Arms open wide, palms up) Believe me.

He was weak, I am strong. Tremendous

turnout, seventy-four mill-i-ons!

 

No way Biden had eighty mill-i-ions!

We rallied at the Capitol– a great

halt to the Joint Session– tremendous!

(Two karate chops slice air) Bigly

red-hatted legion for me– Believe me–

they didn’t storm in for a loser.

 

They say democracy’s the loser.

(looks up at the sky) Those mill-i-ons

who voted for me won. Believe me.

I wear the imperial purple. Great

men wear the Mandate of Heaven. Bigly

triumph of the will—so tremendous!

 

“In God We Trust” my motto. Tremendous!

No pardon for the old sad loser.

Pardons for my patriots– bigly!

Warp-speed vaccines for the mill-i-ons!

They trust my stable genius, my great

and unmatched wisdom– Believe me!

 

The impeachment’s a witch hunt— believe me.

I’m reinstated– no trial– tremendous

victory for democracy. Great

men make history. Literature for the loser.

Books, what are they good for? Mill-i-ons

hang on my tweets. China fears me, bigly.

 

The Supreme Court affirms me, bigly.

My judges decide to believe me.

My party fears primaries. Mill-i-ons

mobilize in the streets. Tremendous

takeovers of state houses. The loser?

All who think I can’t make America great!

 

Send-off

His sad face, bigly. Pronounced jaw, tremendous.

Mouth clamped. Believe me, no one likes a loser.

Smiles to himself. The mill-i-ons see what’s great.